Friday, April 29, 2005

hmmm. these few days very busy. somemore boon went to hongkong! so cool! i also want to go. hope she doesn't eat and eat there.

i think the teachers are just trying to kill us lor. give us so much homework sia. but then since i cannot go training.. i guess i'm stuck with my pile of homework. that's quite sad. that's very sad. tricia teo you very poor thing lehz. =(

his birthday coming le. are you going to buy anything for him? yeap that's right! chong u's birthday is coming! and that question is huiqing ask me one. well.. yes i am buying something. though i don't know wad to buy. but nevertheless.. haha we shall see.

been taking timings for heats these past few days. gosh. some runners and sprinters and jumpers are really damn good! i'm impressed! i rmb there's this j1 guy called royce, ker wing, and j2s like sean paul who can jump hurdles! and vicknesh. damn power sia. and ronald from track! hahaz. i really got nothing to say. but one thing that sucks from being a timekeeper is that you have to be there all the time to take timings. it's like. quite sucky? that day i saw joan sort of cry yet i can't even go down to comfort her. felt kinda sad and useless at that time. i mean it's damn shit to see your friend so sad yet you cannot like do anything. i mean you can lah, but you just can't. aiyah. whatever am i talking about lah. nvm. i understand can le. but just glad that it's over and she's okay.

ooh! and i gave my first speech in public! damn nervous lor. i was like shaking. but not bad lor. self-praise. i bet you all got clap for me right? i know. thanx thanx~ wahahaha. but that john john damn bad lah. say see me go up only then he start to laugh. funny meh. hmphz. i think i very brave lor! brave girl tricia!

hee~ but today is a happy day.. i'm so happy! someone encouraged me! haha, so nice sia~ coz it was sort of unexpected. that's why it's like quite nice.. yay~

haha, esther ng yen yong! you're wrong lor. i didn't say sorry to them hor. hahaz, i still have backbone =P i only asked if their boat was okay and if he was angry mahx. i didn't apologise. not at all. coz is really they wrong so i no need say sorry? hahaha, okay lah, sorry lah.. won't do such a thing again.

haha, okay! but it's really nj's fault. and their attitude sucks. one small crack on their boat and they make such a big fuss out of it. esp the one controlling rudder lor. so rude to me sia~ so sarcastic. i will always rmb his face lah. bad boy.

haha, whee~ thanx bey~ haha, coz we improve a lot. but then.. my hand got injured. shit. damn bad time to get injured sia. i'm out for training for at least a week. ayez. sorry hiang en. went to see sinseh. not bad. perhpas my arm does feels a bit better after she rub. but at least something was being done to it rather than me rubbing it on my own! yupz. anyway.. thanx to all who asked after my arm. hee~ so nice to be cared by. lalala..

hmmz.. today huiqing ask me am i going to get a present for chong coz his birthday coming le. well.. yes i will. but.. don't know how to pass to him. maybe go down ac again? but must tell him beforehand i guess. ahz. see how lah.

oh no~ i'm suppose to be doing econs now lor. lazy lehz. aiyah. don't care le lah. not going to pass up my work tmr. let her punish me with one more full length essay.

Monday, April 25, 2005

today went airport to study with esther bey and boon. joan and yasin came too! quite productive lah. saw 3 handsome guys sia! not bad not bad.

haha, then just now ngiam told me he over exert himself last week. then tmr got match and he got heats. poor thing sia. who ask him. got nationals still play so much sports.

aiyoz. i think i strained my arm. it's still pain. don't know wad happen. i'm going to put cream for a few days. if it still hurts i'm going to see the doctor. damn irritating lah. with my arm strain like lots of stuff i cannot do. why!! aiyoz.

aiyoz. that nana found out about my blog. so kaypohish lor. haha, oh well.. nvm lah. let her. coz i forgot her birthday =X sorry lah.

Sunday, April 24, 2005

i don't know wad title to put for my entries lehz. very hard to think.

wahaha. oh no. i sort of guessed someone's secret. ahz. sorry lah. didn't mean to. but then now i know le how? of course i won't say lah! =P yeapz. swear swear promise promise cross my heart and hope to die.

today went airport to study with xian, xin yue and yasin came later. oh and mervin too. quite okay lah. did some work. wan yuan was suppose to come lor. but she slept till 7. anyway, sarah and diana got to semis. congrats. hmmz. bey boon esther and jac did good also! they only took k4 for one time and almost got second! think they did very well le. don't worry k. i'm very proud of you all. don't let such a small obstacle get to your confidence and ability!

hmmz. sometimes i think i'm very bad to my friends. take them for granted. take it that they know me very well enough to know when i want to be left alone or not. take it that they understand. take it that they know. haha, actually i also know sometimes i don't treat them very well. always giving belated presents and gifts. even belated birthday sms. gosh. speaks something of my sincerity and the way i treat their friendship with me. like sometimes even if they feel sad or something, i always tell myself i have to sms later to ask after them, show some concern, yet i always forget. or i'm too lazy to do so. although i keep thinking of them like thinking as in if they are okay, are they still sad? in my heart i ask these questions, yet i don't put these questions down into one sms and send it to them. that's bad right? yeah it is. gotta change my attitude sia. just wondering.

i hope i've found the answer i sought for. i hope it's the right one. =)

Saturday, April 23, 2005

ayez. don't want to blog. blog le then chong u picture will go down!!! i don't want! that's why i so long nv come blog. haiya. sian diao.

but nvm.

heehee. that day esther told me something about what happen during p.e! aiyoz. should i be feeling happy or should i just shrug it off? but i think. i'm more curious as to why he did whatever he did that day. seems weird lor. haha, how?

hmmz. that day i ask den to teach me maths. then he don't know how to do. then we both don't want to ask seng tuck coz he is f maths. then we want to depend on ourselves! must be independent! but in the end we two quite lousy.. so still have to ask seng tuck help us solve. haha, but den very funny! then today i saw him then he tell me his maths got highest in class lehz! 27 marks! so pro. not fair lor. we both got same tutor. then why i only got 10? anyway i like den! he very cute!

i think i strain my arm somehow. it hurts. some gym workout do le then quite pain. oh no~ then my hand so many blister! yucks! pain. haha and today was very funny. quite a few people ask me is it my birthday today. nopez! still got one more month. to whoever is reading this: you can start saving now. =D haha, but most importantly.. i hope someone remembers my birthday. =X

today weiqiang and ron went triple jump finals. ron got first! weiqiang got third! not bad not bad. ron really can jump chao far. aiyah. then after that he stayed back to study. if i know i don't arrange to meet my mummy go eat dinner. then can study together. oh well. next time then. then i went home with ngiam. quite funny lah that joker.

went qb to cut hair just now! keith! i cut my hair lehz! don't say me le hor~ =P i got this middle-age jap guy who cut my hair. he's damn nice! i like him a lot! his service is definitely first class lor. i think it's quite an insult that he should be working there. he's damn meticulous and very polite and very serious in his job. his service is excellent sia! didn't felt like moving my butt from the chair after he was done. next time i wanna go there again! hee.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

chong is in the back row!

hahaz, i decided to put chong's pic up! it's damn cool! i think he looks super nice in his jersey. but then again, he looks nice in anything lah. that's wad i think. jia you jia you!

Saturday, April 16, 2005

in a way, i seriously do not like my class. i prefer the times with adrian they all in our class. miss andy, suikai, adrian hong jing they all. now i think my class is so.. full of shit? there are some people in my class i may not like. but yet it's for no particular reason. it's just this feeling in me that when i see them i don't really like them. and there's no explaining why. haha, and after we combined classes, like so many things happen. i've realised all along how naive i've been. things aren't really wad they seem. but then again, things are always not what they seem. so maybe i'm just not that naive afterall. perhaps deep down i have already accepted certain facts and truths and i understand. i really do. i just refuse to believe.

yay! mj won jjc! haha, but then it was sort of expected lah. poor zhengjie. sprained his leg again. this is like the don't know how many times he sprained his leg. poor thing lor! hope he gets well in time for monday's match against nyjc. all the best! hahah, yeapz. on the other hand, chong played for ac and they won ijc. haha, but then it was sort of expected they would win lah. glad for him. haha, his jersey is damn nice! red and white. his soccer photo is still damn cool. haha, he still looks as good as ever. haha, recently we got chat. i guess it's just me. coz he's really still the same old chong that i know. yeah! haha, i hope i'm right. hmmz.. want topost his soccer photo here. but then don't want lah. don't know whether i can not. not even my photo. haha, but i'm so proud of him!

went to scas to help again. help the lady there with admin work. it's really kinda nice actually. and to think that i actually like really like working there. yeapz~ haha, i'll probably be going back to help again. in a way, it gets me concentrated on stuff. well, homework does too.. but it's different.

haha, changed hp recently and my mummy they all were like curiously finding out how my phone works and all that.. then they were curious to see my photos which i took with my phone. as usual. then they saw adrian's stupid pic and they all thought that i got bf. wah kaoz. adrian lehz~ sorry lah. but then like very weird sia~ hahaha, anyway, they keep insisting i have a bf lor. damn dumb. why can't they accept the fact that some people really and truly do not have one?! wad's so hard to believe. whatever they want lah. can't be bothered.

haha, yeapz~ pw got 1! haha, happy lah. but then again.. yeapz =)

Thursday, April 14, 2005

today was nationals cross-country. joan ran despite her sprained ankle which was recovering and her flu and i think cough. stubborn sia. tell her don't run already. tmr she sick she better not complain to me lor. i'm gonna scold her like anything if she even utter a sound.

aiyah. sorry lah. today a bit moody. don't know why sia. maybe period coming? haha, hate period and rainy days. troublesome like anything. today rain then some of the girls didn't get to canoe. i don't mind if it's raining while we're canoeing. but the guy at the reservoir seems to have opinions of his own that definitely differs from mine! aiyah. but then again. even if i had a chance to canoe, canoe with..? that's another thing. i don't know.

some people do things just to please others not for themselves. why sia. give other people the wrong impression. if you don't like anything and you wanna stop doing that thing then by all means. don't do things which you're forcing yourself to do. somemore you do le then never even put in your 100%. no diff from not doing it at all. shucks. i'm irritated. so so irritated. irritated irritated irritated. irritated by the attitude of others, irritated with everyone lah basically. guess even if you're not irritating today i'll still feel irritated by you. hate moody days man. nvm. i'll be better in a while.

and i think i sprained my ankle. damn. just now running the route at macritchie a bit slippery downhill and my ankle twisted. but then i continued running then not pain. then now come home a bit pain. hope it's not really a sprain. hope it's just pain. for now. then tmr won't le. i don't want to sprain my ankle. everyone's like spraining their ankle nowadays. quite dumb lor. joan sprained hers'. so did tong siang. zheng jie too. i don't want to sprain mine too. like so copycat hor. no no. i don't want i don't want.

wish my mummy wouldn't keep nagging at me when i come home. so tired and everything and she still asks me like quite silly questions sometimes. then is not i want to be like quite rude to her. it's just getting on my nerves lah. rude to her then later keep thinking then i will feel bad. argh. she ask me whether fri i eating dinner on my own or she buying back for me. how i know?! today's not even fri yet. and i don't know fri wad time i end cip and all that stuff. it's just irritating to think about it now. but wad's the big deal lah. i mean, she buy back or i eat out, also she not cooking. she nv cook for how long le lor. then everytime dinner should be the usual routine wad. about 4 years plus plus of not cooking and buying back dinner she still ask this type of questions.

and my sister another one. keep talking on the phone. always man. talk on the phone still want to act busy. always when her friend call her then halfway she will talk to us. like wanna action that her family very close very funny, always like to bully her in a fun way like that. (you get wad i mean?) but... too bad! wahaha. we're just not. i'm not. i'm mean. can't stand it when she does that. esp when guys call. like just now she using both the computer and talking on the phone and listening to music on the com. talk that time quite act cute. talk also talk so loud. music also blast loud. irritating to my ears. then i ask her wad time she use finish the com. and she ask me why. wah lao. she quite retarded right. obviously is i wanna use the com then ask her wad time she use finish mahz! kaoz. like i never ask her before like that. and she ownself know lor. just that i ask her that time wad was she doing? talking on the phone. don't know want to haolian to her friend about wad. i think my impression as her sister on her friends is a bad one. but who gives a damn. i hope she sees my blog. if not i'll purposely leave the com on at my blog page. must let her see. cheryl teo if you're seeing this you better go and fan xing fan xing lor. who ask you go and find out about my blog. then just too bad that i wanna talk bad about you. hmphz.

although i think i quite mean. but i'm in a heck care mood today. maybe i'll just reflect tmr.

saw fazly just now. haha, it's been a while since i last saw him.. he's looking good and fine as usual.. although kena retained but still damn easy-going. ahh! but he say my arm damn big and i look damn muscular. shit him lor. then he keep pressing my arm there to feel the bloody muscles. haha it's damn idiotic lah. oh no~ but then he's not the only one to say le. haiya. whatever lah.

going to listen to linkin park! i always cool down when i listen to their songs. happy also listen to their songs. sad also listen to their songs. haha, it's sort of a revenue where it can totally depict my feelings whatever they are. it's not just the beat of the music and the lyrics. it's also how well i can relate to the songs. which is very well indeed. =D yay!

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

wah! last saturday went canoeing training! quite fun! think i improve? maybe. possibly. could be. but nvm. i think i got improve! wahaha. then when we go there do warm up, we saw... miss lai! shock shock horror horror. hahaz, think she was there to run lor! so healthy sia~ on a saturday morning when we could have all been sleeping soundly..

haha, joan is like sick today! she keep sneezing sia~ then tmr she got nationals cross-country! all the best! jia you jia you!! hope her ankle don't fail her. haha, everyone is like having nationals during this period.. wish them all the best!

house track and field meet coming le! joan's running for phobos as usual. while i'm just gonna slack around or be time keeper? haha, today ngiam ran for atlas. and diana was trying to get wayne to run for triton. tmr is calisto and phobos house trials. oh no~ means ron they all might not come for training le. sianz. go home then quite boring. lesser people to talk to.
lalala.. but today was quite a happy day! heehee.

oh! and i changed phone! wahahaha. and it's filled with like mainly bey yan's pictures lah! thanx ah bey. now my sister playing with it. i bet it's going to be filled with bey yan's and her pictures.

yay~ yesterday me shir ron weiqiang benjy and jiaqing! were playing basketball! wah they damn bad. they always don't want pass the ball to me lor! just because i cannot shoot in. unfair! but i got tap ball away from jiaqing! wah that one i defend chao hard! so proud of myself!

but then i not happy with one person! hmphz. boon told me to msg him and he never reply me lor! dumb dumb. like one sms can cost him his life. not like i msg him every so often. come online also. disappointed.

kaixiong says he got soccer match today. don't know whether he got win notz. but then he so skinny.. nv see him play soccer before also.. haha -shrugs-

and then today that den very bad lor! i maths lecture come in then sit somewhere behind him. then at first i see him then i say eh! den! then i wave. then he turn around then he turn back. but not before i saw him saying wah kao! damn bad lor!!! shall not friend him anymore. haha, but then after that he said he didn't mean it one lah. haha. silly den. but he's chao funny.

hee.. =D happy happy happy happy happy! (don't tell you why)

Sunday, April 10, 2005

oh no~ i got 4 blisters on my hands. 2 each! then one of the two blisters on each hand burst! damn. then the water inside keep coming out. yucks! but it's okay! coz... i bought plaster!! wahahaha~ aiyah. but anyway, i think today's training was quite fruitful~ was happy and fairly sastified. oh yah! ron is sick too! everyone's sick. please take care. drink more water!!!

hahaz, i forgot to mention yesterday that i went to scas top help out with admin stuff. then i did the excel sheet thingy. and i saved. but after that cannot open!!! haha, so since got time so i offered to retype everything for the lady again. so nice right. hee. but then hor! the stupid diskette save then open again cannot open! damn qi kek. all my hard work sia~ somemore i check and double check before handing in lor. =( nvm. i'll be back next week to help again! i don't believe this time i will be that suay.

yeapz~ today's xin yue birthday! me joan mei yin hiang en xin yue and christine went out to celebrate! aiyah, it was fun.. but then i was tired after training then like no mood like that.. haha, sorry ah. somemore went to queensway there. hmmm.. saw a lot of shoes!!! but then too many shoes sia~ and so crowded. got headache. so many many people~ cannot htink properly. but i saw one show not bad. 60 bucks. then don't have the colour i wanted. argh~ how can!! haha. nvm lah. don't want buy ready. i want change phone! my auntie just changed hers. but she's always changing her phone sia~

aiyo. so late le my sister still haven't come back. going to be 12 le lor. i suspect she has a bf. wad can i say.. =)

Saturday, April 09, 2005

=) everybody's sick these days. haha, keith also. then yisheng say anand also sick. then joan sprain her ankle. then zhengjie miss training for a week. oh no~ then they train quite hard to get to first team. if it's me i think i will be very disappointed.nvm. hope they all get well soon!

have lots of homework. while that stupid pig kaixiong still can suan me just coz he's having a holidays now. haha, but then who cares. he school reopen also got lots of project.

oh yay~! mjc squash win srjc! but yeapz. they must win acjc. hope they win! fingers cross! -smiles- then that day want watch acjc bball against mj. but raining!! maybe next time bahx. but the girls skirt like chao short or something. anyway their uniform reminds me of temasek de. haha, so long nv wear sia~ don't think will have a chance to wear again.. unless.. i ownself wear at home? but i'll just look like a total idiot in my own home.

hahaz, tmr is xin yue's birthday.. guess we'll have quite a fun time celebraing bahx.. but i'm going to be very tired or something lah.. but then birthdays only come once a year..!

hmmz.. see my sister found out about my blog. so rude hor she. so naughty. don't understand. so diff from her sister. ayez. wad can i say? =P

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

whee!!! ngiam's back! hahaz, i'm damn happy! but he's damn idiotic. ask everyone not to tell. then make me be the last to know. fine lor! hahaz, still trick me on april's fool day. lalala~ but he's back! and that's all that matters. =) i'm so happy! hahaha

woahz. haven't had time to update. it goes waaay waaay back to last sat where the canoeist had their cip. doing wad? we went to changi beach to pick litter! so nice~ UNFORTUNATELY, i had to pair up with bey yan. haiz. lucky i got esther! wahaha. but then that day rain. so from 8 hours become 4 hours only. then that john john never even turn up. haha, i picked up a dead fish! it was quite big. then i threw it in our bag. then that bey and esther complained that it smelt. but then leave it lying there like so bad. so i had to take it out and throw it in the water. then that mr lim stand there slack. =X then we saw baby crabs!! so sweet! i think they were white. then they dig small long holes in the sand! then after that eat lunch then go back. but raining. so we had to go home. then ronald keep pulling down the hood of my jacket. so childish! i cannot see lor. then he so strong i cannot lift the hood up with his hand pressing down on my head! that dumb dumb. hee.

then when i went home i slept. i suppose to sleep from 3.30 to 5. wah shit. then i overslept. i woke up at 9. actually want to go back sleep one. then i remembered i haven't eat dinner so i wake up. but then... i got no dinner. then must eat cup noodles. sian diao. if i know i should have slept on. then next day i went to pasir ris library to study! all by myself. so proud. manage to clear my work. then my mummy and dua yi and mei mei meet me. then we walk. then i walk past this shop i saw this piglet toy so damn cute!!! next time got chance must show keith!

eeyer.. then monday go school.oh. yah. then yisheng they all got squash competition against rj. wished them all luck. then after that went for training. before that went library. gosh. terry brooks fantasy books are damn nice like anything. i kept reading it like there's no end.

then today den chao funny! hahaz, but he's always funny. he's soo cute! haha. he and that keith lah. purposely ignore me. then his paper the year write 2004. then i laugh at him and say he write wrong. is 2005. then he look at me so blur. then he change. but then he go and change the month! he change to 05.05.2004. hahaz, then i laugh like mad. then after that going off he and keith want to ignore me again lah. say bye to joan only. okay lor. then he walk past then i say whey den. then he look so confused coz keith say must ignore me, but i want him to say bye to me. then me and joan burst out laughing together. damn cute. then after that saw yisheng and ngiam playing squash. very interesting. ngiam is actually a good player. hard to believe unless you see it for yourself. but yeapz. know he's been training hard. kudos to him for that.

hahaz, yay! then kaixiong says he's buying sweets for me! wahaha. first time he so nice. but i bet he will forget. so good. now he holiday then ask me out play pool. but i cannot! then he take so long to reply sms. aiyo!

oh no~~ my sister found out about my blog liaoz lor. shit. how come how come?! i want change blog le. see. now i cannot talk bad about her here already lah. but then, i also don't care. haha, aiyah. fine. so no diff. and i never bully her lor. cheryl teo you irritating pest. so what if you find out about my blog. i purposely type here to let you see! every night talk on the house phone. then chat on the hp. then sms. then use computer chat. super busy lah. fine. if one day i happen to answer your hp while "your friend" is calling. die. i tell you. talk talk talk. every night hide under blanket and talk right. you think i don't know. too bad! i know! hmphz. there. =D i'm feeling so smug.

ayez. okay lah. i want go read my book. tmr must go macritchie train? -groans- so far~ okay! i'm gone! goodbye tricia!

yes! ngiam's back! -happy-

canoeing at sentosa

Saturday, April 02, 2005

in a better mood than yesterday. maybe coz had some rest, quite a good sleep. =) hahaz, today keep suaning jerry about his hair. then after that suan john john about his maths. who ask him lose me by one mark! =P okay lor.. sorry lah. later mid year he win me back one mark how?

haha, today is april fool's day! stupid vinson. msg people at 2 something in the morning saying he wanna die. wah laoz. then i msg back huh? how come? then he say hahah! happy april fool. just whatever. hahaz, damn idiotic lor. hahaz, then just now chat with ngiam coz he msg me! yay! but that ass. he msg me say he can come back mj. got chance. then i was like damn happy. wah fine lor. later he say happy april fool's day. wah i damn sian diao. haha, but then he knows that me and atiqah misses him lots. he says he misses us too!

then just now at canteen i saw den! haha, then he wave to me! then i tell him i pass my physics! yes! but then he like pass everything else. so smart hor. but i think den's character is super cute and funny. then keith don't want honey water. but today is april fool's day. orhx! maybe he bluff me too. i know. =D then after that was j1 canoeing trials. hmm.. glad to see wayne. but then he was sick and went for trials. poor thing. then there was this girl who came and looked like diana. her name's sarah. cool huh. but the trials were okay lah. glad to have chong zheng and wayne they all back. then saw basketball match. tpjc and mjc. obviously we won lah. haha, oh but chung siang was damn fast.

watching the match was nice. it's nice to see your friends play. but then i think all along i like to watch matches. it's just nice to see your friends playing and cheering them one. hahaz, watching the match makes me think of how last time i used to go down to ahs to watch tms basketball matches during the nationals. i always like to see chong hu and irwin they all play. it's amazing how they get the ball in with like such fast speed and fake moves and everything! stunts tricks.. ahz. and slam dunk! haha, think last time ronald could do it.

then after that went canteen to do work with bey and diana while diana waited for shawn. oh! just now walk past squash court, then i saw shawn wearing the google like thingy to protect his eyes. damn cool! i think it's so nice~ oh oh! and the basketball referee my new idol sia. she's damn tall. like i think can even beat some of the quite tall guys in our school. and she's only 15 or 16 years old! gosh. ou xiang~~~~

hmmz.. then.. went to eat with bey bey then come home. then i read finish my book! in like two days? hahaz it was damn nice! the elfstones of shannara by terry brooks. but then got one part quite sad. but it was a happy ending. i like happy endings. hmmz.. tmr go beach clean up with canoeist! yeah! we're gonna have fun i think. hee.

lastly. i nearly forgot to wish faggot thia happy birthday. haha, but i remembered and i was the first! i bet he was very happy. but he's still as mean as ever. keep suaning me. but i miss having tuition with him though. but oh wells.. i have joan too study with. hmm. sometimes keith also if he comes and joins us. then the other canoeist. yeapz~ i'm contented. =D

Friday, April 01, 2005

oh no. just as i feared, ngiam didn't get in. argh. so irritated. it's not fair. stupid school. stupid system. stupid policies.

haha, gosh. i'm sad. don't know. just thinking that the next time i go to school, there's no ngiam there copying homework. neither is there any ngiam for me to say hello to. it's just diff. i don't wish for him to be sad too. but i also don't know how to comfort him. don't dare to ask if he's even happy where he is. hmm. guess me and him have been close in a way that i will really miss. then today maths lec, the top student was ngiam wee ling. hahaz, seeing the word ngiam there made me thought of him. really gonna miss him. =(

thought he would understand. thought he would have known how it feels like. apparantly i was wrong. the way we feel about certain stuff, just isn't of the same frequency. i just wanted to get some comforting words, some acknowledgement of the fact that he knew, and he felt the same way too. but i guess i know now. feel so stupid.

guess it hasn't been that great a week. got caught for my hair again. argh. like how many times do i have to tell them that i didn't dye my hair. it's damn dumb. i told her already the last time and she had to catch me again. bet she doesn't remember that she caught me the last time too. gosh. it's not because of the fact that she keeps catching me for my hair, but the manner and the tone that she uses. so damn bloody rude. then like so many others have hair that are significantly more dyed than mine and they nv get caught. irritating sia. it doesn't help that i've not been sleeping properly too. bad week. feel so unhappy.

oh well, but at least today was esther's birthday! canoeing team went out for dinner at swensens' to eat with miss seah. hmmz.. was quite a happy event. and block tests results are back! won a cup of bubbletea from ron! coz i win him in mcq! so tyco. lucky nv compare full paper. although i didn't so so well.. but i don't know. maybe i should just start to focus more on cca and studies. no more playing about. no more socialising or going out too often. life's tough.

oh yah. stupid chong. don't want chat with him already. conversations are always one way. gives me the feeling that he doesn't particularly want to talk. it's so diff from before. i don't like. maybe coz of school and cca? soccer nationals coming. wish him all the best. hopefully during holidays we can chat like we used too.

oh no~ i still thinking about not ever being able to see ngiam often. okay. and maybe plus other stuff. i think i absorb things very slow. when i first knew he didn't get in i was like. damn. okay. i wasn't particularly sad or anything. guess when i saw atiqah i could feel how sad both of us were. it's hard to be unable to cry when you really want to. the tears just don't fall. can't fall and won't fall.

thinking.. just thinking.. are you able to understand?