and maths lecture today was superduperultraextraordinary bo-ring. to the extent that i had to walk a fairly long way to the toilet just to ease my boredom. gosh. let him faster teach and get it over and done with. but quite paiseh to be walking up the aisle just to go toilet and everyone is looking at you. so i kept my head down even though i was VERY tempted to look up and wave to everyone i knew.

my calculator is spoilt!! so irritating. want to end jc life le then it makes itself spoilt! but nvm! better now then during a levels. that'll be like hell.

ah yes. the teachers are all discreetly hinting to us ourmakrs or happily giving out our test scripts and berating us on our mistakes. oh well. if we didn't do well.. guess we do deserve it do we? hell no. not really.. but, maybe just to a small extent. try harder next time bahx!

my results? i failed my econs mcq. i got 14! not out of 20 and lucky not out of 40. out of 30. so shit. i didn't expect to fail mcq. it's like, coz the answer is right in front of you? with the answer staring right smack in your face, how to fail?! but i did. so.. whatever. but guess i am proud of my gp score. english used to be my best subject from primary sch onwards. but it sort of deterioriate after i took higher mother tongue.
anyway, physics mcq doesn't look that great either. hope for the best.

haha, why is it you're always busy when you come online? have the feeling that you're sort of trying to avoid me. is it coz you think i'm irritating? haiz. this sucks. maybe i am irritating sometimes. or maybe not. or maybe you just don't know me well enough. sometimes you're kinda nice.. sometimes you act so indifferent. ahz. don't know le lah. don't wanna know.

sometimes i feel that, when i gain something, i lose something as well. it's just like the balance of things? perhaps to gain equilibrium? but i don't want to gain something and lose something as well. it's like my timings have improved for canoeing, but my grades have not been very well. that's a gain and a lost. even in my grades, i got quite a good score for gp, but my econs totally sux like anything. i got to know more friends, but i end up not keeping touch with the old ones. and this sucks more. i wanted to know you better, but ended up knowing more of your friends but not you. but as i told xin yue joan and meiyin this.. they also said out what they have lost and not gain, and why they sort of disagree with me. haha, and actually.. they're quite right.

hmmz.. thinking about it, i'm already a very lucky girl. there are people who are far far worse off than me. people who lose a lot just to gain something simple. shall not complain anymore.

oh yah see. i lose my calculator, but i gained the reason for not being able to do my physics tutorial. how do i do it without the proper calculator?!

life.. all i ever wanted was something so simple.. yet my something so simple, was simply unattainable.