i don't know why things end up the way the way they are now..
i don't know when it started, but it started somehow.
maybe i shouldn't have asked for that contact. it has caused me much trouble.. and much feelings of awkwardness. I have put in much effort and time into getting it all right. i admit i made a few mistakes here and there.. but i really put my heart and soul into delivering it out. even though at times when i felt i was the only one doing it.. even though there were times when i felt my group mates had no time or didn't seem interested in doing it. i thought it was okay. they had more modules than me. but why.
it was only a small concern of mine. did i look that sulky? i was only a bit worried of what i could deliver to her. it was only a line of casual reasoning. i didn't understand why you had to flare up on me.
maybe it's just this project. i have lots of information, but they seem to get me no where. i took the time and effort to consolidate it into proper reading material. i took the time and effort to make sure i undertsnad the flow. i took the time and effort to come up with the questions. then why why why do i still feel so ALONE? from the point of contact, to the questions, to the consolidated information.. i know. i know i know i know. all of them contributed. but i just can't help but feel that way...
i anticipated the urgency or rather the need to apply and not work for this project. but nevertheless.. it was wasted.
will anyone understand me? will anyone understand the feelings of awkwardness? will anyone even understand what i'm trying to say? or wad i'm trying to explain? or wad i'm trying to bring across?
can't wait for all of this to be over.
just wish i was home now. home, you are my only comfort now..
posted by tricia, me and i at
3:37 AM
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0 comments
wad does an jaw operation do?
it's the shifting of the jaw back to its appropriate place. since the webby put that it's only a day surgery... I guess you shouldn't worry too much about it.
haha. well.. i don't think someone out there has any experience on having a jaw operation. but nevertheless, if someone do happen to have gone through it before, no harm posting a comment.
yeah. but don't be scared! i guess it might just clash with your work. but if you are more worried about the complications, i think that the surgeries or operations nowadays are pretty adavanced too!
yeah.
anyways. HR quiz tomorrow. sian diao. hahaha.
good luck to the quiz!!
tricia was here. she has an aching body!
posted by tricia, me and i at
12:45 AM
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1 comments
Right. Contrary to popular belief. I am actually not that free as i always seem to be.
It's TRUE. not only do I only have 10 AUS out of which 2 are ELECTIVES are examinable, hmmm. I would say i are free-er (if there ever was such a word) or having more free time compared to my previous timetables.
okay just to share. I used to be quite busy last time. with many many activities in my life. my secondary school life was fufiling, JC life was more low-profiled, Uni life is well... monotonous. I just don't have that drive anymore.
hmm. tell me! why am i so not motivated anymore? there's no drive nor passion nor motivation!!!!
I just feel like I'm aimlessly walking the face of the earth, with no direction nor specific path to take whatsoever. I know i know, people have found their drives or motivation or even their passion late in life, but how late is late?!
better late than never? i disagree in this sense. coz i feel like i'm wasting my youth just trying to find out my drive in life. i hope that the drive comes soon. I don't wanna waste nor rot my life away!!!
any-o-ways. me thinks me is a very patient person. I don't know how is it that i can bear to force myself to listen to the anger or the jokes people "throw" at me, and be so giving and yielding that i'm kind of irriated. I so want to scream out loud or shout back or just be angry. but being angry is just so not in my nature. coz after i become angry, i regret ever shouting back or scolding that person, and end up being submissive and giving in again. boo.
and anyway. i think it is totally not worth it being angry. coz being angry is very tiring. So... how many of you have been angry with a person for a long period of time? if i were to ask you wad started this anger in the first place, would you still remember it?
and this post, it's dedicated to my most avid reader, anonymousxu, who so dilligently waits for my updates, and even encourages me to blog more often.
but. working twice a week, can be damn tiring.
and estherngyenyong. i'm feelig kinda sian working there now. coz it's so draggy.... haha. come back and work with me please!
oh yah! just some juicy information, a colleague of mine is going to ROM next year in jan! congrats!!!
but the thing is she's only 21! that's like same age as me? or rather, us?! ha. people nowadays are getting married early. hmmm.. how come? or maybe not really people but rather the people around me?
anyway, the shirley ang hiang en just had her birthday party, and... ha. she's still so not mature or considerate as she wants to become. but really, i actually shouldn't be bothered about the comments made that day.. as in, time will tell if i can do it or not. and i believe that, i should believe in myself. yup. and i'm not angry or anything, so if you're thinking of posting anything, don't have to.
i mean afterall a blog is just a way of expressing oneself and a way of releasing personal feelings. it shouldn;t really be used for the purpose of scolding a person, telling a person off in words, or even for apologizing for that matter of fact. coz you and only you have tha uthority here to write whatever you want on your blog, and whoever sees the blog, whatever they feel, it's gonna be their problem. I mean nobody asked you to read the blog in the first place right? well of course you don't really have the authority to write like discriminating things or really hurtful things. but generally you get wad i mean.
when will school end for me? i wonder.
tricia was here.
posted by tricia, me and i at
11:34 PM
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1 comments