oh no. just as i feared, ngiam didn't get in. argh. so irritated. it's not fair. stupid school. stupid system. stupid policies.
haha, gosh. i'm sad. don't know. just thinking that the next time i go to school, there's no ngiam there copying homework. neither is there any ngiam for me to say hello to. it's just diff. i don't wish for him to be sad too. but i also don't know how to comfort him. don't dare to ask if he's even happy where he is. hmm. guess me and him have been close in a way that i will really miss. then today maths lec, the top student was ngiam wee ling. hahaz, seeing the word ngiam there made me thought of him. really gonna miss him. =(
thought he would understand. thought he would have known how it feels like. apparantly i was wrong. the way we feel about certain stuff, just isn't of the same frequency. i just wanted to get some comforting words, some acknowledgement of the fact that he knew, and he felt the same way too. but i guess i know now. feel so stupid.
guess it hasn't been that great a week. got caught for my hair again. argh. like how many times do i have to tell them that i didn't dye my hair. it's damn dumb. i told her already the last time and she had to catch me again. bet she doesn't remember that she caught me the last time too. gosh. it's not because of the fact that she keeps catching me for my hair, but the manner and the tone that she uses. so damn bloody rude. then like so many others have hair that are significantly more dyed than mine and they nv get caught. irritating sia. it doesn't help that i've not been sleeping properly too. bad week. feel so unhappy.
oh well, but at least today was esther's birthday! canoeing team went out for dinner at swensens' to eat with miss seah. hmmz.. was quite a happy event. and block tests results are back! won a cup of bubbletea from ron! coz i win him in mcq! so tyco. lucky nv compare full paper. although i didn't so so well.. but i don't know. maybe i should just start to focus more on cca and studies. no more playing about. no more socialising or going out too often. life's tough.
oh yah. stupid chong. don't want chat with him already. conversations are always one way. gives me the feeling that he doesn't particularly want to talk. it's so diff from before. i don't like. maybe coz of school and cca? soccer nationals coming. wish him all the best. hopefully during holidays we can chat like we used too.
oh no~ i still thinking about not ever being able to see ngiam often. okay. and maybe plus other stuff. i think i absorb things very slow. when i first knew he didn't get in i was like. damn. okay. i wasn't particularly sad or anything. guess when i saw atiqah i could feel how sad both of us were. it's hard to be unable to cry when you really want to. the tears just don't fall. can't fall and won't fall.
thinking.. just thinking.. are you able to understand?
posted by tricia, me and i at
3:06 PM
