today was inter hall games.
i guess me and roomie didn't do too well. don't know. seems like every sport i join i also don't do well huh. canoeing too. but it's okay. i tried? though today's badminton could have been better.
it's okay then. thursday still have! play to win!
sometimes i feel that my life in uni is pretty screwed up. i realise i don't really like having two homes and my stuff in two places. it's kinda confusing where's everything and on top of that i keep forgetting if i brought this and that along. but to ask me to travel from home to ntu, i'll say it's a total waste of my time. i don't know how mei yin does it, but she's good. she can cope. she can manage. maybe i'm spoilt maybe i'm not.
sure. home's surely the best. i agree. but it's not that i don't want to stay home. it's the mah fan part that over rules the going home part. anyway, there's usually nobody at home. go home and slack? might as well i slack in hall? i don't know. sometimes i just wish i were home. sometimes not.
yeah. sometimes go home also get nagged at? mummys' like really good at that lah. i just wish she would learn to trust me and my decisions more. come on. it's not like every single decision and every single step i take is wrong. having lived on earth for wad.. close to 20 years? would i not know wad to do and wad not to do? give me a chance.
i know she's just worried. afraid that i'm just too soft-hearted. maybe i am and always will be. but i want to trust my own judgment and decisions. i may not always be right, but i am not always wrong.
this is stupid. some self-reflect session?
i read someone's blog just now. i think certain posts are just so damn interesting. it's the kind that actually gets you thinking.
i don't know. sometimes i just wish for someone to hold a decent conversation with me? we could talk it out and not argue about certain topics? i need to speak my views and i would like to hear yours. well... i guess i cannot do it if you choose to walk away huh. but it's okay. i know i'm pretty assertive about my views. and it's not easy to out speak me when i feel strongly.
i guess... chong's one of the few that could ever make me pause stop and re-think whatever it is i said. but it doesn't mean he's always right either. and i accept the fact that i can be wrong. haha, i guess i'm just weird. needing people to talk and discuss about dumb topics. well well well.
tricia tricia tricia. life's pretty screwed up huh.
and i probably know why i don't mind going back to work. coz so far, it's probably the thing that i do best. it's something familiar, not something foreign.
i believe this is only a stupid passing phase. it had better be on its way then. i cannot and i will not keep feeling this way.
i'm sorry i always seem so busy. to huiqing, to joan and the rest, to the canoeing girls.. etc etc i just cannot seem to find enough time huh. always giving last minute comfirmations and stuff. sorry! actually i'm really not busy.. just a clash of timings always.
ha.. when can i ever find time to find myself then? i need myself back!
suddenly the world seems so big... and me? so tiny.
tricia came. she left. she might have disappeared.
posted by tricia, me and i at
12:59 PM
