05.06.07
i thought this was a good date. nevertheless i was proven wrong. last year 06.06.06 was a good date. and i remembered 08.07.06, but today? yes it will be remembered but for the wrong reasons.
i believe everyone of us wields different kinds of power in us. the power to love, the power to hurt, the power to provide happiness to others, the power to inflict pain.
a pity some of us don't recognise this power we hold in our hands.
you wield a power so strong that just a single line from you washes out whatever hope, joy, happiness that you have in your heart. whatever you are looking forward to? gone in a flash. poof. just like that. and you don't even know what's happening around you. suddenly everything whirls around you, you don't know what you're feeling, what you're suppose to be feeling, and what is feeling??! all you know is anguish, tears, pain and aching which dulls you a lot. see. that's the power some of us hold.
i once knew a girl who was so looking forward to something. she contained her excitement, her joy and her happiness in her. forgot how it felt to be sad. she counted the days looking forward to that one day only to find it all in vain, her happiness shortlived. can she feel angry? who's fault was it anyway? just a slip of tongue, a moment of temper and that moment she's been looking forward too gone with the wind. wad can she do? salvage it? i think not. how? she got pushed away.
unknowingly you wield a power so strong.
today i wanted so much to run. pent out all the "dirty" energy in me. i want to run. i want to perspire. feel the tears of perspiration dripping down. i want to gasp for breathe. i want to be red in the face. i want to fly with my legs. i couldn't and i didn't. the longing to do so in my heart remains, but it's meaningless if you know now you have to run alone for a long time to come.
ha. wad's the matter with me today?
i'm sad. i'm angry.. and sad to say.. i'm hurt. i used to be so happy. wad has happen to me? i feel life's a struggle. especially now. since i entered uni. it feels different. i feel so torn apart. i've lost my goal in life. i feel i've lost everything. wad have i gained? a school full of competition? my close friends all far apart from me? i can make friends easily, but so? how many often stay with you? you can have many you call friends, but not all connect together with you mentally. not all know when's the time to be silent, not all know when to lend a listening ear, not all know when to just sit beside you and hold your hand. not all... not at all.
how many truly know you? do you truly know yourself? wad's going to happen tomorrow? wad will you be feeling? you know. as much as the world can take only so much, a girl can only take so much. i'm breaking apart. save me.
if you're reading this post. no comments on it. let it be. let it past. tricia teo just doesn't seem to be the girl she is anymore. ha, wad do you all see in her to be her friend anyway? see. my self-confidence just lowered. damn this is bad huh.
i had not wanted this post to be a sad one. a one that wasn't me. afterall this is the first time i'm picking up my fingers to blog ya. wad the hell. it wasn't meant to be like that anyway.
wad was i suppose to blog? i was suppose to blog about my act on tv, my birthday and the gathering with just the girls and the canoeist. anyway thank you guys. it feels good to be together. and thank you all who made my birthday a wonderful one. i love the birthday wishes. makes me feel remembered. thank you.
tricia shall end this post now. who's tricia? you ask.
posted by tricia, me and i at
10:25 PM
