Saturday, November 08, 2008
It's the time of the year again and it beats me why i am typing my post in purple!
what time did i say it was again? oh i didn't well, it's DE examz.
i know i know. i've only got two papers. please, let's just stop harping on it. i mean i know i have 2 papers. but. i didn't really plan for this yah. and, have you thought of the additional stress that i might be having if i don't do well for ONLY two papers?? i mean well they are only electives.. but you get the gist. it's still an exam.
Just went for TCM yesterday and i happen to ask jiayun and daphne about the career prospects and if they are currently sourcing for a job. so they said they didn't had the time and that they were okay with like not receiving a contract before they graduate. and i really heaved a big sigh of relief there and then.
my first thoughts were, "i'm not the only one!"
ha. it seems to piss me off that depsite the not so many or rather many resumes that i've sent out, i still don't have any replies. like ANY. it set me thinking was it really me? or was it whatever that is was on my resume.
well screw that. it really frightens me as to what kind of a person i've become since entering uni. there's a great deal of insecurity and uncertainty looming overhead me and i feel so crushed, so small and so tiny in the face of such immense negativity.
see. whatever happened to the, don't worry if it is meant to be yours it will be yours? i've really always always believed that out in the vast humane world, there is one job and only one career that belongs to me me me and me alone. we just haven't had the chance to make acquaintance out of each other.
but i guess with the peer pressure and the ambitious hunger of the people around me, i am slowly being consumed and swallowed up by the whirlwind of unhappiness, selfish and backstabbing snippets of soon to be life of the corporate world i see in uni.
i could count this as my rare positive posts that i've had in the longest time ever, and in fact, it has made me realise that, i for one, have not been holding through to my belief. that if what you believe in doesn't affect the way you live, then it isn;t very important.
which boild down to, what exactly do i believe in?
well.. i believe that i am an talented individual, that will make it out there in the cold harsh world based on my own merits regardless what others may think or regardless how long i take.
so why did i waver?
i've realised that for SO long, i've been standing precariously on the edge, wavering in my belief of what others have said. so for now, it is up to me to stay true to myself, and true to my beliefs.
funny how my beliefs in life have turned out to be my guiding principles, my stronghold to grasp on to in such times of uncertainties. so never waver again tricia?
to add on. saw the recent news article on how sg government was sueing wall street. i think it's an absolute waste of resources. it's just CRAP. it just shows us how childish we can be just cause we can't accept a few harsh criticisms from others. i mean, no country is perfect. if you want to get a perfect review on the newspaper or whatever scholarly journal, then it would have to be a biased one wouldn't it?
and no, it is not crazy to want to ask for criticism or even to welcome them, because it is A WAY that lets us know what the world truly thinks, and it is A WAY that we are able to know where we can improve on. SO. instead of viweing it in a positive light, why can't WE be gracious enough to accept it and show that they are wrong through our silent actions???
they way i see it, it is just a war of words.
